The ToluRiye Blog

The pot-holes, oh my God! are like the sizes of big basins. Some are totally damaged and yet on the news you'll hear them say "the Nigerian government is working", but I don't seem to see any work, only if I have issues with my eyes which of course I do not!
Travelling is one of my hobbies and to me, you don't get the 'fun' when travelling by air so I travel more by road. But these days, the journey ain't making sense no more, it has been really uncomfortable for me. Because of what, you say?? THE ROAD. The extent at which my body aches at the end of the journey is appalling!
An encounter I had in the last 3 weeks really made me zero my mind about Nigerian roads.
In the past 3 weeks now, I travelled from the North to the South-western region of the country and back.
I travelled to Lagos by road and the story of that journey is 'bitter sweet'. Bitter in the sense that the journey was annoying and stressful and sweet in that I enjoyed my journey because I love travelling. Travelling to Lagos from Kano by road is one hell of a journey and I'm gonna break my pity story into 3 parts.

•The first part of my pity story was when we got to Edo state, Ibilo to be precise. All I noticed was that the road ahead was totally blocked, but luckily for us, the villagers there had created another road, those people are awesome and ought to be appreciated for such a beautiful work well done. The road created was sort of narrow and when it got to a point, we all had to alight from the car, trek some distance forward before hopping into the car again. Thank God for new and good tyres.
•The second part of my pity story, however was on the way from Ibilo, Edo State heading to Owo, Ondo state. This was the most annoying part of the journey. FERMA (Federal Road Maintenance Agency) agents were working with their hands, with just few crude equipments, and that aside, they also lacked the sense of organisation. On getting closer to them, a truck was dropping gravels that would be used to fill the road, and after depositing the gravels, the truck just left, not even bothering to spread the gravels and pave way for other commuters. As soon as the truck took its leave, the FERMA agents started to spread the gravels deposited with their bare hands and one of them was busy taking pictures that I was sure we would end up seeing on the news with "Federal government is working" OR "Ibilo-Owo road to be opened in a fortnight's time!". They don't seem to understand that Nigerians are not stupid. By the way, the traffic was starting to build up and they were still working with their hands.
Shortly after, the 'men in camo' passed by and instead of them to even try and control the traffic, they, being their bossy selves created a way and zoomed off.
•The last part of my pity story was when we got to a particular point, some guys stopped us and told us to pay before we could continue our journey. My mum brought out the normal #50, and they said they couldn't collect it because they were the ones getting all the resources needed to fix the road themselves and working on it, so it was either we gave them #100 or we went back. We finally paid and we continued our journey, encountered traffic jams at different point till we finally got to Lagos!
Corruption is now the order of the day in this country. The amounts allocated to the Ministry of transport are going into people's stomach and not the road.
It would be really cool if our leaders and even Mr. President himself travel by road to different parts of the country and see what Nigerians are going through. Roads such as the one along Ekiti State, the one that links Kano to Kaduna, the one linking Ibilo, Edo State to Owo, Ondo State, as well as the road along Plateau state. If the leaders travel through these paths and experience what an average Nigerian experiences every now and then, only then would they actually know what to do.

I'd like to know your experiences with Nigerian road. No matter how short your journey has been. And to my non-Nigerian readers, I would also like for you to comment about the road issues in your country.
Peace!!

¤Adeyemo Toluwanise Precious

"oh! I'm not worthy of this post given me". "I can't accept this". "I can't do it". "I don't have the skills". "This is worth more than I can handle".
Most of us always have comments about ourselves like the afore mentioned. We don't see ourselves as worth anything, yet we aren't satisfied with where we are. What we don't understand is that, how we see ourselves has a lot to do with our progress. How we see ourselves affects our progress.
When I was in Senior high School, class 3 to be precise, prefects were to be chosen. I was told by several people that I'll be the house prefect but I kept telling them that I wasn't worthy of being a house prefect. I believed I wasn't worth it and in the end, I was a block prefect. Imagine, if I had thought myself worthy of being a house prefect. Funny thing was, I always said if I was a prefect at all, I'd be the block prefect.
Look, sometimes it's not that people around us don't want us to progress, it's that we at times stop ourselves from progressing.
How? You say?
You stop yourself from progressing when you don't think worthy of yourself. When you see yourself as undeserving, please ooo, how do you expect to get something you don't deserve??
The truth is that, until you see yourself as worthy, you will always sink back. Until you see yourself as worthy of that position, you will remain where you are. Until you see yourself as worthy of that contract, you will not get it. Same with so many aspects of our lives.
Yes, you've prayed about it but it's not coming. Have you sat down to think that maybe it's not coming because you are having doubts about yourself? Have you ever thought that maybe it's because you see yourself as unworthy?
You need to have a positive view about you. You need to start believing in yourself and counting yourself worthy.
You are amazing. Yes! you can and will definitely make it.

Have you ever been hungry? Like hungry to the extent that you thought you'd faint? Or even to the point when it seems as though you can't breath well? Trust me, I've been there.
Imagine being this hungry and imagine the satisfaction and joy you get after having a good meal. Don't let your imaginations go too wild. Stay with me.
Now let's use this hunger as a symbol for our dreams. The achievement of our dream is the satisfaction we get when we have eaten a good meal.
I can imagine what most of us look like or how we act when we are hungry and how we would do anything for a really good meal, some of us can't even settle for an appetizer, all we want is the main dish.
Having this picture in mind, I wonder why some of us don't seem to feed our dreams. I wonder why it is that when we have gotten an appetizer for our dreams, we are fine. We don't go the extra mile to find a main dish.
Sometimes, when it looks like feeding our dream is expensive, we starve it.
Look, you don't have a dream or goal because, well it's a normal thing for everybody to have a dream. Those dreams you have, are significant to you. They are part of what makes you unique. Therefore, I want you to chase your dreams no matter the cost (I didn't say kill or do bad stuffs ooo...smiles). You have to push yourself forward. You have to leave your comfort zone in achieving your dream.
Feeding your dream is all the things you'll go through, all the efforts you'll have to put into achieving your dream.
Imagine the satisfaction you get after having a healthy meal, that is the satisfaction you get when you have worked towards your dream and you have achieved it.
Be hungry for your dreams. Don't starve your dreams. Feed it.
It might cost you some things. You'll have to go the extra mile. You'll have to leave your comfort zone and you'll have to go through some other stuffs. But in the end, after you have achieved your dreams, you will have that satisfaction and you'll have joy within you.
In achieving your dreams, don't settle for less, settle for the best. You also cannot settle for the ordinary because you are more than ordinary.
Don't forget, the achievement of your dream may be the blessing and motivation for another person.

I was thinking within myself one cool afternoon about people who have at one point in their life been stigmatised, yet moved on and did not let such stigma affect their way of life as well as their relationship with people.
I am a living example of such people. Back then in high school, due to my complexion and all, my mates used to mock me and call me all sort of names. I felt pained and inferior that time, it really got to me, reduced my self-esteem and as such reduced my interaction with people. Fast forward to this moment, it just doesn't bother me a bit...and I'm very proud of being a confirm black!. As Jon Bellion said in his track - all time low...'I've been trying to fix my pride, but that shit's broken', so have I been striving not to get too proud of my complexion, but I can't stop being proud because BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL...lol!
And due to the fact that I decided to overlook the insults and mockery, plus the fact that a good friend also encouraged me not to let such insults get to me, I've been able to stand out among peers. I attended a programme one day and I contributed to the discussion in the programme, and people were looking like 'so this BLACK boy can speak English as fluent as this' and I was just laughing within myself.
To you out there who has decided to give up because of one stigma or the other...I urge you today to get on your feet and 'showcase your talent (in falz's voice...lol). Show them that you are not what they think you are. Beat their imagination with that which you're good at and show them that BEHIND EVERY SCAR LIES BEAUTY!!!
Peace!!!

"I envy you ooo". "Your life is moving on well". "Wow! You are established already". "Your own is good ooo". "I want to be like you".
These and so many other words am I told on daily basis.
I look at all these people giving them my thanks but I know they are all missing something.
They all seem to have a cloth over their eyes. Even though they can see, they are blind. They are blind to what lies beneath. They are blind to the stories behind my success. They are blind to the sadness within my smile. The most painful part is that they are blind to my scars. They are blind to the sources if my motivation.
If only they could read between the lines. Even at this young age, I have been through a lot.
When all they see is beautiful, all I see is ugly. When people see joy, I See pain. I have been through the good, the bad and the ugly. When I stand before the mirror, all I see are scars. I see a heart turned to titanium because of the pain caused it.
But at some point, I open up my heart and I am brought to the understanding that there is beauty in every scar. I understand that my scars also make me beautiful.

I have been scarred. At this young age, I already know what pain is. But because I smile, they don't see my pain.
My scars are what make me strong. My scars have brought me to the understanding of the world. My scars are part of my personality.
My scars are all over but hidden to those who can't see beyond the horizon. My scars make me.

Often times people feel like they are confined in a space or rather they are not free where they are so they cannot display their full potential. Let me tell you, nothing is confining you, nothing is holding you back. You are only confined by the walls you build yourself.
We think we are confined or held back, what we don't know is that it's just our mentality that gives us this notion. Meanwhile, we are actually the ones confining us and not anything or anybody.
Look around you, look at where you are right now and think about how you got there or rather why you are still in that position and then open your mind to think about new things, new opportunities and ways you can move out of there.
Look, your mind is like the foundation of a building. You keep putting bricks and rods to build on it. Thus working on new ideas. When the first one does not work move to the next one.
Your IQ and mind will not work until you put them to work and so if you are waiting for one motivational speaker to speak before you know that you ought to jump into action and open your mind to work, you are at your own loss. If you are waiting for some sort of motivation or driving force, you are confining yourself. You are your own motivation.
You own your mind and creative abilities and so you should put that mind and creative abilities to work. This way you become great and you build new opportunities for yourself.

Note that your mi

I've found out that in life, after certain challenges and falls, people give up. We just choose to let go and not try again. We feel like we are failures and we definitely cannot achieve anything so what is the point of trying again. Why not just wallow in your failures??
Hey, how many times have you tried?? You met a blocked way ahead, so what?? Did you try the second and third time or did you just abandon it??
Let it be clear to you that you have no right and I mean no right to just give up after the first try, you have no right to give up after the second try. Look! you don't even have the right to give up after the third try. You only have the right to keep trying until it comes through. That situation or whatever you are working at must be the one to give in to you and not you giving in to the situation.
You think you should give up? If you should give up, what should Abraham Lincoln have done when he kept trying to be the president of America? Why didn't he just stop after the first, second and third try? Why did he keep trying? In case you don't know, he kept trying and he tried 99 times and guess what, at the 100th time, America gave in to him and he became their president.
Look, I always say it, it's not meant to be easy because if it were, then I guess we all shouldn't have to worry ourselves about alot of things. These challenges and stuffs you have to work at, stuffs you have to give your all into are the things that make us. And if you think giving up is what you should do, then I'm sorry to inform you that you are super duper wrong!
You must note that: you are a success and so you don't just give up. You keep trying until you succeed at that which you have set to do.
You must also note that as a reader of The ToluRiye Blog and as a citizen of the world, you have absolutely no right to give in to any situation no matter what it is. You only have the right to put your chin up and hold your head high because you push through anything you set your mind to do.
You ain't too young to achieve that dream and start displaying your potentials, there is nothing like that. Even if it's too hard or rough or even tough, there is only one thing for you to do and that is you push through.
Don't forget to smile.

The other day we spoke about choices and diligence. Today I want to see how we can relate our passion to our choices and diligence.
We all have that one thing we love to do. That one thing that has always caught our attention. That profession we had always wanted to go into. And I can imagine how determined we are at that particular point in time to achieve this. Well that was then.
We have all grown up now but, are we living our passion? That thing you had a passion for, have you worked towards it? Have you had a choice to pursue that passion? Are you living that passion?
We all have a passion even if we haven't figured it out yet. Your passion might be singing, dancing, writing, acting etc,  but to bring this passion to life, you need to make a choice.
You need to understand where your passion lies and then make a choice to achieve it. But then it should be noted that it doesn't just take making that choice, it also takes diligence to bring that passion to life. It is not enough to make a choice to bring your passion to life, you need diligence, that is, working towards it. You think if you just sit and look after making a choice that an angel from above will come and work some miracles in bringing your passion to life? Sweetheart, that is not how it works. You need to rise up on your feet and put in some action, put in some effort, put in some work...hardwork and you just watch and see how your passion will come to life.
I've learnt that I always need to add some action behind my passion. I never actually saw myself as someone that would be writing my own stuffs, but then a little push and I was writing some little stuffs to motivate people and then came my partner, encouraging me to join him in opening this blog, and now I enjoy writing articles that'll encourage people. I love photography, and a little bit of action that I added to this passion had made me a professional photographer.
What am I saying? You need to discover your passion, and in discovering this passion, you need to make a choice to bring your passion to life, and in making the choice you need to put some action, and in putting some actions, you need to be diligent!

These are two words we have at one point or the other of our life heard. Even the Holy Bible in Proverbs chapter 22 verse 29 made reference to the word diligence. It says 'seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mere men'. A motivational speaker once said 'the bridge between dream and reality is WORK....HARDWORK!' Without hardwork, your dreams become an illusion...they seem impossible! 

A little charge to you out there, yes you! is to metamorphose from being slothful to being diligent. Guys! no sensible lady will settle down with you if you are lazy...Ladies! no reasonable guy will settle for less if you are being slothful because diligence is the mother of good fortune!

Confucius once said 'the expectations of life depend upon diligence; a mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools'. If you, being the mechanic are being slothful in sharpening your tools, how do you expect to get the best out of the day's work?

Ponder on this!!!

Adekunle Gold was told that his kind of music does not exist in the genre of music. He should either change or get away. Bill Gates was a college drop out. Ben Carson was called a dummy. Oprah Winfrey was sexually abused at a young age, got pregnant and the baby died​ shortly after birth.
These men and woman and so many other people have similar stories. Where are they now? They have all made a name in this world. They are all great individuals because they made a choice to go after what they wanted.
Many times, we would be put down or discouraged by some comments or by how we are put away.
After all this, one thing that is important is the choice we make. Whether we choose to go by what we have been told or we choose to push and press in for what we want to achieve.
Sometimes we make choices, but sometimes the choices make us.
You are not defined by the position or grade you have in class. You are not defined by the words that proceed out of the mouth of people. You are defined by those choices you make. Those things you decide to do. The dreams you decide to chase
You go for an audition and you are oh so discouraged by the words of the judges, don't let it get to you. Chase your dreams.
You make a statement and no one bothers to listen to you, do not bother. Keep making those statements and would stop to listen to you.
I don't know why some men just derive joy in discouraging people and bringing them down. But one thing I know and I'm telling you is that you should not be discouraged. Do not bother about the words and actions of negative people. Remain positive, chase those dreams, be determined and you will surely make it. Your name will go down in history.

They never thought of this
When they ruled  us for about five centuries
They were too selfish
Even to think about our own needs

At the 'point of no return'
They led our ancestors, turn by turn
Not minding if the clothes they wore
Were torn or out of fashion

They took our ancestors to their land
Just to help work on their farmland
They let them sleep at their backyard
Not minding the harshness of the weather

They took them as slaves
And called the process 'slave trade'
They never saw our land as a place where good things can come from
But only something next to a junkyard

But because we are black
We take our stand,
Come against all trying to make us feel inferior
And show them what we've got

That the fact that we are black
Doesn't mean we can't be a shining star
We can represent Africa
And still be world class

SAYNOTORACISM

I've seen how alot of people in our society of today seem to place their own standards on what someone's body size should be. If you're not a size 8, then there is something wrong with you. If you're a size 10, it's even still manageable. A size 12, OMG what is she eating. Then a size 18, that is a totally ridiculous body size.
Every lady with every sort of body size is beautiful. She is unique.
Come to think of it, you that you have the perfect body, what extra benefit has it given you. What has it added to your account? To me, it doesn't add anything to you and infact you don't add anything to the society. All you do is bring down the self-esteem of other beautiful ladies.
Hey! You out there, it doesn't matter what people out there say about your body, one thing I want you to know and keep in mind is that: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, YOU ARE AMAZING and YOU ARE UNIQUE.
Don't go starving yourself because you want to be the perfect size. Your current size is perfect and why not make a statement with your body?
You think you can't go out because of what your body looks like? You think you will not be attended to or recognized because of your body? Well I think otherwise. I think you should get that beautiful dress from your wardrobe, get all dolled up and go out. I think you should boldly go out and get attended to.
I would like for you all going through this to download Alessia Cara's Scars to your beautiful. This song is sure to uplift your spirit.
Don't forget: you are beautiful. You are amazing. You are unique and you are the best of you.

An earlier discussion was made about favouritism and the 'potential effects' it has on a child. Effects which include engaging in social vices and it could even go as far as committing suicide. I then sat and reasoned....'these victims of favouritism should be enlightened'. A Korean scholar once said 'no matter how long and dark a tunnel is, one thing is sure, there will be light at the end'. One thing I have come to understand about life is that you should be prepared for everything life will throw at you. The fact that everything is dry does not tarnish the hope that rain will fall, and when the rain eventually falls, everywhere will be green as it used to be.
As you undergo favouritism, you should be fully aware of the potential within you. You should work on discovering those things you do best. Hey, it is difficult! It wasn't even meant to be easy but while being a victim of favouritism, you should not let that stop you from being the best at what you do. While parents and siblings are busy frustrating you, you could always try to improve yourself on that which your desire lies most and on that which will be your succour. You could build yourself up in spiritual and motivational books.
That you are undergoing favouritism, doesn't stop you from being amazing. I agree that it is quite discouraging and sometimes tends to be an hindrance, but I believe you can make the best of every situation and circumstance.
Is it in the office that you are facing favouritism? Then hey, be the best at your job and show your boss or whoever it is that you are amazing.
Is it at home? Then make the best of the situation and show whoever it is that you are just as good as that child or kid they are choosing over you. Give them a reason to change.
You are the best of you there ever could be. You are simply amazing.

In life, we come across those people who to us are our forever. They are to us, everything we have always longed for. They are the ones who understand us and know us in and out. But have you ever sat down to think about whether they are not the one? Have you ever thought that maybe just maybe, they aren't everything you have always wanted? Have you ever thought about been disappointed?
I have come to learn that I will always meet new people who will not necessarily be my forever but have a role to play in my life and development. Now their roles and functions will only be carried out if I give them a chance and not block them out. And I have also learnt that there is this slight chance that the new people I meet are actually the forever I have always longed for.
I believe that as we go from place to place, we meet new people with different perspectives about life and different opinions about different things. We have an opportunity to learn new things. We have an opportunity to develop new ideas and cultivate new skills.
The point is life is not necessarily about forevers and everything we have hoped for coming just the way we hoped for it. We may never get that forever but we can always enjoy and have the fullest of our present and future. We may never get everything we hoped for just the way we hoped for it but we can get the fullest out of what we have now and what we get later and in the future.

Many a time I seem to wonder why some parents tend to love one child more than the other. I get confused and ask myself ...'is this not the same woman that housed this dude in her womb for nine months?'... 'is this not the same man that was all jovial with this same kid when he was quite  young?'. I get confused and then inquire within myself...'are both of you not his or her parents?!'

One thing parents should know is that favouritism brings nothing but hatred among siblings, it builds the inferiority complex within a child and kills any kind of dream the child once had. Favouritism has led a couple of children to doing things they never thought of, it has made them believe that love does not exist anywhere. It has led many kids to believing that they can do nothing pleasing to the eyes, since anything they do will be questioned, no matter how good it is! And when the child starts to misbehave, the parents start to think that the child has joined a bad gang or something of such in school. This parents don't know that it's their actions or inactions that lead the children to this part of life. 

Parents should note that the actions of their children are partly born out of the actions and inactions of the parents. If this children feel welcomed and accepted in this bad gangs, then there is a high possibility that they would be found there and they would get involved with this acts.

Even if a child seems dull and all, picking a younger or older sibling over such a child will not solve the problem of being dull. It might just be a little 'push' such a child needs to gain his feet. But I have observed that such a child will be abused, molested and beaten by his parents, while his siblings will even mock him along the line, simply because they have seen their parents beat and abuse him. 

I understand that there is a possibility that you find it difficult to dispense the same amount of love to all your children, but as parents you should always find a way to carry this children along and show them all love. A child in such a situation will feel nothing but hatred for his family members and will feel like an outcast whenever he is in their midst. Such a child might one day decide to commit suicide because all that life (family members, classmates etc) has thrown at him has been unbearable. 

I implore parents, guardians and everyone to SAY NO TO FAVOURITISM....because it kills the potential as well as the self esteem within a child.

#saynotofavouritism

TOLURIYE '17

Love is a beautiful thing. Love they say is what makes the world go round. Love is what I see been passed around on daily infact minute basis between everyone.
But then, I don't feel love. I don't seem to receive my share of love. It looks to me like I stand outside the circle of love.
You know, my friends tell me they love me all the time and I say it back all the time but it feels empty. It feels like it's just words been passed around us for communication's sake, it feels like the feather of a chicken, weightless. It feels like fake gold, worthless.
But come to think of it, maybe it's because I have never been in love. Maybe it's because when I tend to think I am loved, I find a reason to think otherwise. Maybe because, love is just a state of the mind. Or maybe it's because I have found a reason to live but not a reason to love. Or maybe just maybe, Cupid's arrow is yet to hit it's target.
But now, just now, I have found love. I have come to know the true meaning of love. I have come to understand that it's not just in the words, it's in the heart. I have come to the understanding that with love, I can go through life's challenges with a broad smile on my face. I have come to realize that even when those I love and those I think love me let me down, I will always find love in some other place.
Love flows through our bloodstream. Love is not approved in the words, it's in the heart.

There is always a reason to live on. There is always something that makes you want to wake up in the morning, that makes you want to live one more day.
You know, you'll face some challenges or problems that'll just make you want to give up and let go of life. But come to think of it, there is that something around you that keeps you going despite the problem or challenge.
There is the beautiful smile of your son/daughter, the love of your husband/wife or a loved one, the family and friends that cherish you oh so much, the love of a father and mother, the encouragement of a family and most importantly, the assurance that God is still alive and is always there to see you through. You know he said His grace is sufficient for you.
So, even if you are not thinking of all the beauties and bounties of life. Just stop and think for one minute about the love of God and how he'll be so sad you left the world without giving him a chance to see you through.
Like I said before, it's not going to be easy. Infact it's not supposed to be easy. But then when God is on your side, who or what can be against you?? As for me, NOTHING.
So to all my loved ones out there and all my readers, I want you to live your everyday life thinking about the love of God for you. 

I want you to wake up in the morning and think about all those people around you, those people that make your everyday and just smile and remember that you have a reason to live on. Also, remember that this life won't be the same without you in it. Remember that the lives of your loved ones and all those people that look up to you won't be the same without you in it.

XoXo

We need to learn to see things from a different perspective. You don't have to see the negative side of everything that happens to you or everything that goes on in your life and in the world.
You know if you look at that situation, you could find something good in it. I've learnt to always have a different perspective about situations. I've learnt to try and see the good in that person, in that thing, in that situation. It helps my mindset.
When something happens, why is it that the first thing that comes to our mind is always the bad side of it? Why can't we see the good side? Why do we always have bad thoughts about it? Why can't we think good things of the situation?
What I'm just trying to say is that, in every passing moment, something happens whether good or bad. Now in that something that happens, there is a positive and negative side to it. I'm just saying that we should learn to see the good in it and not just the bad.
Someone offended you and your only thought about that person is bad, why not try to see the good in that person? You know can create an excuse for what the person did in your mind. This way, you forget about it easily and you live longer.
In my own psychology, when you keep seeing just the bad in everything and everyone​, you grow old faster because you keep thinking about it and can't let it go thus you start to stress your mind but when you start to see the good in that thing and in that person, even as you grow old, you still look younger.
This is one thing I have learnt from my dad. He is my perfect example of someone that sees the good in situations and in people.
Why not be an example of someone who sees not just the bad but see the good in people and situations?

XoXo